Essay
Bidet
A bidet is a toilet attachment that shoots water up your ass. They are popular in Europe (according to my girlfriend) and, more importantly, she really wants to get one for our bathroom. I do not want a bidet. Call me old fashioned, insecure in my masculinity, or a tight-ass,
Bury Me a G
Where do we go when we die? It’s a question that has plagued humanity forever. I’m not religious but, I’m pretty sure that anybody who disrespects the Oxford comma is going to hell. And for those who put pineapple on their pizza, heaven awaits you. Some argue
Seinfeld
I work at the university which is another way of saying I'm poor but comfortable. When I saw that Jerry Seinfeld was playing in Phoenix, I bought the cheapest ticket I could find from Seat Geek. The seat was partially inside a wall. I'll try to
Spoon
Eating is an inconvenient biological necessity. We need to shove 2,000 calories down our throats to avoid atrophy. If we don't, our stomachs remind us with a grumble. If we move past the grumbling, our stomachs consume themselves, or consume us, in its last-ditch effort for sustenance.
iPod
The first song I ever stole on the internet was Gin and Juice by Snoop Dogg. Imagine me, 11 years old, singing along to a song about alcohol I never drank and weed I never smoked, bopping my head to the beat and singing, "Sippin' on gin and
Authentic
Press Coffee on Apache Blvd was a haven for me. A place away from home where I could work away on my MacBook and get stuff done. When it closed down, a small part of me was lost. It was a chain but, it was a local chain with great
Skylight
It was a skylight. A skylight is a cut-out that replaces a portion of a roof with a see-through mesh or glass panel. This causes the sun's light to disperse through the room. I've watched Batman cut a circle into one and rappel down through it
The Reusies
Can't we recycle all plastic? I recently helped organize a watch party for The Reusies at Arizona State University. Before the show started, I gave a short presentation giving context on why The Reusies exists. I spoke about plastics in the ocean, recycling, and how these things have
Punk Water
I went to the Hearts on Fire concert this past weekend to fill my soul with punk nostalgia. There was a lot of sweat, oddly shaped people wearing fishnet leggings, and loud but terrible sound quality. Or in other words, all the glory I imagined it would be. After Mayday
Let's Not Go Camping
I've seen a lot of messaging about reuse and most of it is wrong. Maybe I'm just a stickler on this. I've seen companies say, "We support reuse," but it's just them encouraging their customers to bring their cups, bags,