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The NEW (and more fun) Triple Bottom Line

David Plotz, co-host of Slate’s Political Gabfest, has a theory about political campaigns. Whoever looks like they are having more fun will win. Tell me which of the following sounds more fun: * People. Planet. Profit: The triple bottom line. * Sex, drugs, and fast cars: The fast life. It's a

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The Stupid Google Pixel Magic Eraser Commercial

I'm not sure when this happened but, New Year's Eve is now the most important sports day on the calendar. Back-to-back College Football Playoff games, including TCU vs Michigan in the Fiesta Bowl in Glendale (a couple of guys wearing Hypnotoad shirts walked into the coffee shop when I was

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The Xbox Series X Box

I was definitely a good boy this year because Santa left a shiny new Xbox Series X under the Christmas tree — with my name on it. It wasn't wrapped in gift wrapping paper because, well, to be honest with you, I bought it for myself. It had my name on

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Mr. Coffee

Most Americans need gas to get them to and from work; they also need coffee to get them through the eight-hour workday. I'm impressed that one gallon of liquid can power a 3,000-pound car across town. But, I’m more impressed with how people can suffer through a workday

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Bidet

A bidet is a toilet attachment that shoots water up your ass. They are popular in Europe (according to my girlfriend) and, more importantly, she really wants to get one for our bathroom. I do not want a bidet. Call me old fashioned, insecure in my masculinity, or a tight-ass,

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Bury Me a G

Where do we go when we die? It’s a question that has plagued humanity forever. I’m not religious but, I’m pretty sure that anybody who disrespects the Oxford comma is going to hell. And for those who put pineapple on their pizza, heaven awaits you. Some argue

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Seinfeld

I work at the university which is another way of saying I'm poor but comfortable. When I saw that Jerry Seinfeld was playing in Phoenix, I bought the cheapest ticket I could find from Seat Geek. The seat was partially inside a wall. I'll try to explain. I arrived at

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Spoon

Eating is an inconvenient biological necessity. We need to shove 2,000 calories down our throats to avoid atrophy. If we don't, our stomachs remind us with a grumble. If we move past the grumbling, our stomachs consume themselves, or consume us, in its last-ditch effort for sustenance. The stomach

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iPod

The first song I ever stole on the internet was Gin and Juice by Snoop Dogg. Imagine me, 11 years old, singing along to a song about alcohol I never drank and weed I never smoked, bopping my head to the beat and singing, "Sippin' on gin and juice!," while

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Authentic

Press Coffee on Apache Blvd was a haven for me. A place away from home where I could work away on my MacBook and get stuff done. When it closed down, a small part of me was lost. It was a chain but, it was a local chain with great